This year has been a year of change and although it hasn't included any household moves or huge exciting events, it has included a lot of change within. Currently I am in another transition and although these usually always end up being wonderful, the entire process, ultimately, is painful and disorienting. God continually reminds me that growth is never easy, and when you're comfortable it's usually time for growth. So, my 30 seconds of fleeting comfort has left me, and I am once again swinging on the pendulum of life, waiting to see where God's going to take me, learning to hang on and find a "peace" in the chaos. Currently, all of the "extra" singers on our worship team have been removed for a season, thus myself included. Most of the people I have bonded with in my church, I feel a drifting of sorts, and I basically am feeling a bit disconnected. My husband may or may not be switching companies within his battalion, and either decision has very large advantages and disadvantages, and I am currently in limbo as to whether or not the job I have been praying for is actually going to work out for my benefit. And as usual, the verse in Jeremiah 29, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," ring loudly in my head... And as I question my confidence once again, Jeremiah speaks again, "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him." Blessed I may be, though my pendulum still swings. I wait in attempted silence while my mind screams loudly, "God what would you do with me!" And ultimately, I just keep swinging.
Monday, January 14, 2008
In the middle of the swinging pendulum
This year has been a year of change and although it hasn't included any household moves or huge exciting events, it has included a lot of change within. Currently I am in another transition and although these usually always end up being wonderful, the entire process, ultimately, is painful and disorienting. God continually reminds me that growth is never easy, and when you're comfortable it's usually time for growth. So, my 30 seconds of fleeting comfort has left me, and I am once again swinging on the pendulum of life, waiting to see where God's going to take me, learning to hang on and find a "peace" in the chaos. Currently, all of the "extra" singers on our worship team have been removed for a season, thus myself included. Most of the people I have bonded with in my church, I feel a drifting of sorts, and I basically am feeling a bit disconnected. My husband may or may not be switching companies within his battalion, and either decision has very large advantages and disadvantages, and I am currently in limbo as to whether or not the job I have been praying for is actually going to work out for my benefit. And as usual, the verse in Jeremiah 29, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," ring loudly in my head... And as I question my confidence once again, Jeremiah speaks again, "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him." Blessed I may be, though my pendulum still swings. I wait in attempted silence while my mind screams loudly, "God what would you do with me!" And ultimately, I just keep swinging.
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2 comments:
Not knowing is hard! Great post. Hold tight to that insight!
yesterday i realized i've been having this conversation with God:
me:Lord, I will do whatEVER you want me to do. I just want to know what it is right NOW! Tell me what you want me to DO!!!!
God: What I want you to do is wait.
me: *flops on floor like a two year old in the supermarket*
I have to believe that God wants the best things for us, so if He's having us wait extra time to see what His plans are- He will be faithful to use even that time to grow you and draw you closer to Him. Keep seeking His will and remembering He does want good things for you!!!
FANTABULOUS post!
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